The 2nd meeting!

In the morning we sent each other a few mails back and forth. I confirm to her that I believe a friendship between man and woman can be possible. In fact, I really do have two very nice real friendships with women going on, so I am not making up this "change of mind". But in reality, I still think that these friendships are the exception. we men are not "wired" for friendships with women, and usually those end up in big misunderstandings.

But I am willing to give it a try - this is my only chance to stay connected to her, and I still believe, feel that I am strongly in love with her. I do not want to loose her. So I would now agree to anything.

Why am I in love? That is somehow the wrong question. There are many reasons: she is exactly my "type", from appearance. But she is also "my type" from character. Never did I have such an easy communication with anyone, such an immediate back-and-forth of thoughts. She has humour, is intelligent, compassionate. I have never seen or found a woman who is so close to how I always imagined an ideal woman. I do not know much of her actually, I don't know what type of chocolate she likes, I don't know her actual interests in daily life, but somehow all this is not important to me. I know her deeply inside, know how she feels, know what makes her happy, at least in an abstract sense. I know that we two would be extremely happy together...

So I am very glad that she accepted the invitation to that special event today. I gave a talk, she was in the audience. Somehow that gave me enormous confidence, and the event went very well. There were many guests, and I did not have time to attend to her much. But this was our first meeting after all these emails and SMS. As I saw her again, coming into the room filled with other people, my heart almost stopped. But I composed myself well, although it was pounding like crazy. We slowly moved towards each other, made eye contact. The first handshake with her, after the very first contact more than 2 weeks ago. She smiled friendly and warmly, and as I looked into her eyes, I almost got lost in them. My colleagues around must have noticed. A few words, nothing serious, just small talk, but the handshake is firm and from the heart. I had forgotten how her face looks, through all that electronic communication. I had not realised that she is slightly taller than me - or does she have high heels?

Her voice is so sweet and soft, as we exchange a few banalities, for the people around us. I could listen to her voice endlessly.

Weird situation. She knows about my love for her. I know that she is in a relationship that she does not want to give up right now. We both have a brief but intense history of email exchanges, of SMS, and of a large misunderstanding which now has been cleared up. And we cannot talk about it, as around us are all these people, officials, colleagues, friends.

I still do not get this "friendship" thing, but I'll work it out.

And so the evening ends on a high note. I finally have met her again, although the circumstances were not ideal.