The next level - but also a clarification

As she finally has an access to her emails, she sees all my mails. Now a wild reply frenzy starts, back and forth fly the mails. Finally we talk to each other, at least per writing. So many smileys! Yes, this relationship seems really to take off! It is all very harmless, no specific talk about relationship. She wants to organize a joint dinner sometime, with friends. I shall be there invited as well. Ok, the boyfriend will be there too... I wonder what she is thinking, how she imagines that this would go. No word of dumping the boyfriend.

But for now the emails go back and forth. She mentions that there was a problem with the boyfriend: as she had sent me the nightly SMS on Saturday night which had made me so mad, also her boyfriend was mad. Understandably. What was she thinking? Together in bed with him, then sending me a SMS, neither thinking that me or him would have some questions?

I sent her a brief email stating this situation; and telling her that I did not feel so well when receiving her nightly SMS, writing "See what you do to us men?", trying to put a slightly humorous spin onto it. Back comes her reply "I am not even going to comment on this". Why not? Suddenly all what she said, in all her emails, all the wonderful back and forth talk is again in question. I ask back, and then it becomes clear - she is in a serious relationship with her boyfriend. And I am just considered a friend.

What a blow. What does she think she is doing? Is that normal? Maybe I am not normal, maybe I misunderstood something?

So here I had indicated that I thought more of this than a simple friendship. Obviously she had not considered that before... but now it is somehow there in the open. The next level has been reached. But I had to agree to remain in my corner, labelled as friend. No intrusion into the existing partnership was desired. This is not what I had imagined. But I have no other choice than to accept.