And an explanation

Well, in my stupid "virtual assumptions" I had just gotten her email "into the wrong throat". She corrected herself: no, she did not mean house but apartment. And she was just talking about the past months, actually more than a year back... when she had been busy with organising her life with him.

So back to the optimistic track?
Well, the fact remains that they bought together an apartment, where she is living now... and obviously he too. But he is out on business the whole week. I was not fully aware of that. She does not want to meet me, while he is gone, because that would violate the trust in their relationship. I understand that. I do not like it, but I can understand that she does not want to look like the "guilty part". So how to proceed? It still has not been clarified where we are heading. The last "official" statement regarding this was last week her answer to my question, and that remains still valid: I should look for a girlfriend for myself. Well, that is exactly what I am doing now. With her as the potential girlfriend. Of course she did not mean that...

But we are officially still in this "friendship" mode, which she favored so much. How does she intend to convice her boyfriend that she could have me as a friend? Is that what she actually indends to do? Or does she intend to dump him? With joint property that is not so easy... I realise now that I have broken into a quite established relationship, and I had not been aware of that.

But I want to be with her. And she gives me hope: maybe sometime we will be able to meet. I do not know what the boundary conditions will be... but it will happen, she even mentions this now. I think that we will actually move forward. I am ready, and I will keep my email communication with her open. Will talk with her, will help her, will be a support for her as much as it is possible. She appreciated so much my little help this week in her professional work - her supervisor approved her work, and she was so happy. She went into the weekend with a good mood, that I could sense from her mails. And I am the reason for that. Not bad.

Again a lonely weekend ahead. I will try to do some work, but I will keep thinking about her. With me, it is a 24h thing. I constantly think about her, no matter what I do, where I am, with whom I talk. Constantly she is on my mind, I see her face, and I want to be with her. I love her crazy, and I finally want to be with her! When will this happen?