Email silence - not really kept

I did not send her any email, the whole day. I decide not so send my flame mail yet. It would be again on a Tuesday – somehow these Tuesdays are bad for out relation here, there is always something troublesome coming up.

She does not send one either, keeps quiet.
And I have to think where my priorities are: do I want to win her, to be with her eventually? Or do I want to preserve my dignity, and punish her?

In the latter case, I should send that flame email to her, to tell her the truth about herself, once and for all. She should realize what she is doing.

But then, I slowly realize that I myself do not want this to end yet. There is still hope. She is friendly to me. Obviously wants me “around”.
I am in love with her, so I do anything that brings me closer to her. And if that means standing for a while at the sidelines, then this is what I need to do.

So I decide to stop my email silence, and send her a SMS. There is a concert tonight; of course she refuses to join me, a she already indicated a long time ago, but I keep trying. At least the connection has not yet broken down.

And after coming home from the concert, I do what I should have done yesterday, instead of drafting my flame email: I call her. So for 10 minutes we have a nice chat. Then her boyfriend calls…and she has to stop.

Well, the connection is not broken yet. I do have to think how I want to proceed. How I do feel about her. But right now I just want to remain in her presence. So that she has a comparison to her boyfriend. If she really would look deep into herself, she would see that she loves me. But she does not want to see that. This is why she refuses a meeting with me, I suspect.