Another blow
She is so good at hitting hard. There was a concert scheduled in two weeks. Of course, in my infinite wisdom and far-sightedness, I had already bought 2 tickets. Also for other concerts ahead. She knew about this concert, and actually wanted to attend. But today she told me that she and her boyfriend will travel on a vacation. So she will not attend this concert.
The usual letting-down. She is really good at this.
Tonight I will call her for the last time. I want to mention the things that I had drafted in my flame mail. Just talk with her, get her immediate response. Tell her how I think that she is afraid of herself.
Tomorrow her boyfriend will be here. They will do some excursions over Easter. I will be gone too, will visit my family which I had not seen for quite a while now, more than a year.
I will let her in peace. No SMS. No emails. Maybe I will send my flame email after all. I am getting sick of this.
The usual letting-down. She is really good at this.
Tonight I will call her for the last time. I want to mention the things that I had drafted in my flame mail. Just talk with her, get her immediate response. Tell her how I think that she is afraid of herself.
Tomorrow her boyfriend will be here. They will do some excursions over Easter. I will be gone too, will visit my family which I had not seen for quite a while now, more than a year.
I will let her in peace. No SMS. No emails. Maybe I will send my flame email after all. I am getting sick of this.
posted by anonymous | 5:03 PM
4 Comments:
I've been reading your "story" for several weeks. I'm not sure you want an opinion on it or not. If you'd like a female opinion on this, let me know and I'll be glad to tell you what I think. If you'd rather not hear my opinion, that's fine. I'll just continue to ready your "story", if you don't mind.
yes, I would like a female perspective. Keep on reading.
OK, I've read the whole story and you probably aren't going to like what I have to say, but here goes anyway.
First off, you say you are in love with her, but realistically, you barely know her. How can you be in love with someone when you've barely spent any time with her? I think you're in love with the "idea" of her but you don't know enough about her to be in love with her. You've never held her hand or gazed deeply into her eyes or kissed her or anything. You probably don't even know what her favorite food or favorite color is.
Secondly, she has a boyfriend. She has made this clear to you on several occasions. This boyfriend is not just someone she met a few months ago. They have been together for over a year, have bought an apartment together and are building a life together. It's not a casual thing and you are trying to break up a relationship that you know almost nothing about. Now she's told you that she is trying not to mention you to her boyfriend so he will be OK with her having male friends. Notice she said "friend", that's all. And be honest here, if she lies to her boyfriend to be with you and eventually ends up with you, will you ever trust her? And how would you feel if you were in her boyfriend's shoes and someone was trying to break you and your girlfriend up? Not so good huh?
Thirdly, from what you have said, I think she is kind of flattered that you are interested in her but that's as far as it goes. She doesn't seem to be interested in you as anything other than a friend who can maybe help out her career a bit. Sorry if that hurts but from all you've said, that's what it seems like. Also, you PUSHING for an answer on your "relation" is going to do nothing but push her away. Guaranteed. She'll decide that being friends with you isn't worth the pressure you are putting on her. That's how we women are. Believe me, if she was truly interested, she would have found a way to be with you for the concert and much more.
Lastly, you are married. I don't pretend to know what is going on with you and your wife or the reasons that you are separated, but it seems to me that if you put 1/3rd of the effort into your marriage that you are putting into trying to "win this girl's heart", maybe you could have a wonderful relationship with the person you are already married to. I assume at some point you must have loved your wife enough to marry her, so why not give that relationship a fair chance instead of trying to break up someone else's relationship? Just think about it.
Sorry if this wasn't what you wanted to hear. Good luck regardless of what you decide to do.
thanks for the honesty!
this is actually exactly the conclusion I have come to myself. I am just about to post a new post, stating this.
You are completely right - this relation is quite pointless. It did not look like that in the beginning, when I did not know anything. But slowly it became more obvious that her relation was serious. I just did not want to believe it, but I have accepted it now.
I am not trying to break up her relationship. But I was so very surprised that she - despite being in her relationship - was continuing with me. That is just my stupid misunderstanding of women...
I respect her and her decision, and I am finishing this story (which actually is none). The newest entry will have the conclusion. And as far as I am concerned, no more entries will follow after that one.
Thanks for being interested in this and for following it!
Maybe I will start another blog sometime soon. After all, life goes on.
One more comment re. my marriage: I had been unhappy in it for a very long time, but since marriage is a commitment, I never had tried to break out. I gave it many chances, but after now 16 years of marriage, I feel I have to move on. Nothing is left there, except a general caring attitude - I do want to keep a good relationship and a friendship with my still-wife. But emotionally, I cannot continue. Maybe I am just too selfish...
(btw, nice blog that you have!)
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