Slowly simmering

It is Friday again. Another lonely weekend ahead. She will be with her partner, maybe happy, maybe argueing, what do I know.
I could not resist today to send her a brief greeting, with best wishes for the weekend. And she replied back, wishing the same to me. Was asking about my travel plans for next week that I had indicated earlier. So I replied again, briefly, mentioning my upcoming travel, and the next concert for which I have tickets. No reply after that from her.

Since she does have with her partner this strange relationship that only manifests on weekends - he is actually working in another city, one flight-hour away -, she is always alone during the week. But as the situation is, our relation is off. And I keep my distance, as she wished.

But I sent her my email last weekend that she read on Monday; and today again my mail - I place myself into her conscience, and she does not really refuse. I still see hope. She will now be with him, over the weekend. And she can compare her life with him with the virtual imaginary life that could be with me. She can imagine.

I believe that the time is now working for me. I just have to wait. But I am impatient, cannot wait. And what to do while waiting? The wait could be a few years... what a pathetic story that is...

And then, if I get too impatient and am in a relation with someone else, and then she would suddenly show up, declaring herself free and available - would I then just dump with whomever I am then? Probably not. I do have my limits, and I am in general a decent fellow. So that is not something I would consider doing.

These are the thoughts in my mind... I do not have any solution.