Helping Her
Again she was in trouble, and again she turned to me. An issue at her work place. She described to me the situation in an email, and I wrote back an answer with my assessment and advice.
Her replies included: "Whenever there is a difficult situation, you are always there for me." "You always know how to make me smile."
I am glad for these statements. Now again is the difficult task how to interpret them... My first instinct would be to see them as a sign of genuine attraction. But I know that this cannot be. She has made that clear very much in the past year. Well, at least I am her friend.
She mentioned briefly her impeding wedding, about how much she is involved in the preparations and what a large work load that is. I did not reply to this, made no reference at all to the wedding. I will keep it quiet.
Her replies included: "Whenever there is a difficult situation, you are always there for me." "You always know how to make me smile."
I am glad for these statements. Now again is the difficult task how to interpret them... My first instinct would be to see them as a sign of genuine attraction. But I know that this cannot be. She has made that clear very much in the past year. Well, at least I am her friend.
She mentioned briefly her impeding wedding, about how much she is involved in the preparations and what a large work load that is. I did not reply to this, made no reference at all to the wedding. I will keep it quiet.
posted by anonymous | 12:08 AM
2 Comments:
Sounds to me like she just likes knowing you're there, silently worshipping her. She gets what she needs from you, throws you a small crumb and waltzes off to her life. Personally, I don't think I would even reply if she emails again. What's the point? You know where she stands.
Thank you very much, Ann, for your comment!
Yes, you are of course right. I have the illusion that she still might change; this stupid hope in me just does not give up. But I know well that the momentum has now build up to live separate lifes.
I still enjoy helping her, despite the fact that it feeds the fals illusion I have of this "relationship". But I am willing to help her, for nothing in return. Yes, I know it is stupid, and maybe it is time for me to grow up finally... maybe sometime I actually will.
I will probably fall silent again now, maybe take your advice of not replying when she emails me... but then not replying to her would hurt me more than her.
One year already has passed, one year wasted. Well, at least this dumb blog has been created as a consequence.
Thank you again for your clear and straightforward comment!
(I wonder, how many people actually read this my blog ... it feels a bit strange to me to post here all these "internal" feelings, anonymously... but maybe some people can actually learn from it - how not to do things!)
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