She is now married

I watched snapshots of the ceromony on the web cam of the marriage room. Just so that I would get used to the thought that this is now final. Well, semi-final - there is still the possibility for divorce.

But seriously, it is now final. Defeat in writing. The phantasy, the day dream, over. Nothing more to feed my illusion.

I will get over it, eventually. Am still mumbling her name in many of my thoughtless moments. But I know, that there is no way back, nor any way forward. A few emails after her wedding, friendly, but distanced. I respect her marriage, have no other choice.

I will leave this blog here, as a monument to stupid love. Or whatever else you want to call this "love" thing, maybe obsession. But I will remain silent. No point in adding here anything anymore. Maybe in the future... after her divorce, when this "thing" will start again. Until then, bye, friends!

(I have to keep it cool, to hide my disappointment, my disillusion, my desparation. I thought I had found a woman, to be with, to be happy with, to adore, to enjoy life,... but no... I know that I will be unhappy for a few more years about this... stupid relationship stuff is something that always drains my energy for several years...)

Ok, I shut up now.